Months on, the ache between your shoulder blades is still there, showing up during feeds, when you lift your baby and at the end of a long day. When pain has hung around this long, it can start to feel like part of being a parent. Building strength back gradually, and sharing the physical load where you can, can help your back feel more like your own again.

Why it can linger

In the early months, your upper back takes on a lot. Hours of feeding and carrying, often with your shoulders rounded forward, can leave the muscles around your shoulder blades tired. At the same time, there is usually less time for exercise, so those muscles have less chance to build back their strength.

Your baby keeps getting heavier, too. A back that coped well at six weeks may be working much harder at six months. When pain has been around for a while, your nervous system can also become more sensitive, a bit like an alarm that goes off more easily, especially when sleep is broken.

The encouraging part is that the upper back responds well to strength and movement, even in small doses.

Building strength back

Strengthening the muscles around your upper back helps them cope with the daily load of feeding, lifting and carrying. Something to try two or three times a week:

• Back lifts. Lie on your front on the floor with your arms by your sides, gently lift your head and chest a little way, then lower. This can fit into tummy time, lying alongside your baby.
• Shoulder squeezes. Sit tall, draw your shoulder blades back and down, hold for five seconds, then relax.
• Wall press-ups. Lean your hands on a wall, lower your chest towards it, then push away.

If you would like to follow along, VIDA has short videos of back lifts and shoulder squeezes you can use at your own pace. Start with a few repetitions and add more as they feel easier.

A mild ache that settles by the next day is usually fine. On days after a particularly broken night, a lighter session still counts.

Keeping your upper back moving

Gentle movement through the day helps stop stiffness building. Between feeds and naps, you could try:

• Sitting tall, crossing your arms over your chest and slowly turning to each side.
• Clasping your hands behind your head and gently leaning back over the top of a chair.
• Taking a few slow, deep breaths, letting your ribs widen as you breathe in.

If you would like a guided stretch, VIDA has short videos you can follow at your own pace.

Sharing the physical load

Looking after a baby involves a lot of lifting, carrying and holding. Sharing it, where you can, gives your back time to recover. Some ideas:

• Take turns with a partner, family member or friend for bath time, bedtime or the heavier carrying.
• Use a pram or buggy for longer outings rather than carrying.
• Let someone else push the pram or carry the changing bag when you are out together.
• Put your baby down in a safe place for a few minutes when your arms need a break.

Asking for help can feel hard, but it is a practical way of looking after yourself so you can keep looking after your baby.

Making feeding and carrying easier

Small changes still help months on. Bringing your baby up to you with pillows when feeding, carrying them close to your chest and swapping sides through the day all ease the load on your upper back. If you use a sling or carrier, keeping your baby high and snug, with the straps adjusted as they grow, makes a big difference.

Looking after yourself

Sleep is often in short supply, and broken nights can make pain feel louder. When you can, resting while your baby sleeps, or sharing night feeds, gives your body a chance to recover. Your VIDA pain check-in can help you notice patterns, like whether your back feels worse after particularly busy or broken weeks.

What to take away

• Strengthen your upper back two or three times a week with back lifts and shoulder squeezes.
• Keep your upper back moving with gentle turns between feeds.
• Share lifting and carrying with others where you can.
• Use a pram for longer outings and keep slings high and snug.
• Rest when you can, as broken sleep makes pain feel louder.

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